I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
