What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
