is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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