he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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