Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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