we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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