The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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