honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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