She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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