I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
