3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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