So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My ass is underappreciated
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
