Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
