I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
