if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
