Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
