I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
