I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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