Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
