I cockslap morals
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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