Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize
