i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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