He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
