Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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