I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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