How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
