i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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