If i come over, it means nothing
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
