Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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