So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
