You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You don't make any sense
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