so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
