I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
jump out the window naked night went bad
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