worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
