Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
