just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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