why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
