You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
