We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
