when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
