I'm drive I can fine osifer
She announced her abortion via fbk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
