the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
