You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
