you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
