so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
