I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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