drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
