I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
