we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
