Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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