Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
